By Fredy Khalifa
As a man, there comes a time you date a
woman you can’t afford to lose. She’s too good to let go. She’s so
special that you wouldn’t want her to ever vanish from your vicinity.
Well guess what, the more you guard a woman, the more vulnerable she’ll
get. Life is a fox and what you want so much isn’t what you always get.
So
what should you do? Just be risk averse. Make sure that you and your
lady stay away from potential dangers. Despite how cool you are as a
lover, there’s always that one person that your lady might get smitten
to once in a while. So who not to trust? Here are the 10 types of guys
you should never trust around your lady.
The Macho Man
This
is the Ibrahimovic or Johnny Depp kind of guy: rough, tough but a
complete man. The macho man is a strong man, physically and mentally. He
is the man who exhibits all male qualities that made the likes of
Alexander the Great, Achilles and Hannibal stamp their names in the
history books.
In
a world where real men are scarce and the annoying scourge of the
metrosexual and gay is beginning to spread like wild fire, macho men are
really appreciated by the female population. This type of man loves the
attention he gets from ladies and his pride will never let him walk
away from his ‘manly responsibilities’. He isn’t the kind of guy to tell
a lady, “Oh, Shiko, we really shouldn’t do this, you are married!” When
a thirsty lady shows up, he grabs the opportunity and delivers.
There
you go. Not once did I mention a guy with money because a bank account
isn’t a decisive factor. It’s only a plus. ‘Chunga mali yako’ in a
decent way. I repeat. Don’t be overly possessive. Make yourself worth
fighting for too. Don’t be the lone fighter
The Funny Guy
This
is the Eric Omondi, Kevin Hart or MC Jessy kind of guy. It doesn’t
matter whether he’s short, skinny or whether his trousers get torn in
public, women will still find this guy cool. Whoever said laughter is
the best medicine didn’t lie. The truth is a good number of women are
bored with their lives and they are always looking for fun or funny.
Morse so with the stress of today, a woman wants to be with a man who
lights her up. You might have a loaded pocket but without a sense of
humor, you would become a cake without the icing.
When
you make a woman laugh, she gets happy, the non-crossable lines are
slowly rubbed off and she begins to see you in a different light. So
this doesn’t mean that you try to be a funny guy to your woman since you
are afraid that a comedian might sweep her feet. Don’t go throwing
inappropriate jokes about her body or age. You will get the boot a lot
quicker than you expected. The funny guy knows how to tell a woman a
joke while still showing his seriousness about his interest in her. So
if you are not funny, relax, make normal jokes and use your areas of
strength
The gentleman
This
guy is every mother’s dream. He’s the kind of guy to sleep on the couch
while she sleeps on the bed so as to show her he’s not after sex. Then
when she lets her guard down, he taps it and she won’t even know what
hit her. Many times, he’s also the cute boy with looks. Examples would
be guys like Drake or Jared Leto. He might be that classmate or workmate
who is too close to your woman. The moment you mess up in your
relationship, your girlfriend will confide in this guy and things might
just happen even if it’s just for one night.
Some
claim that women want the guy that holds doors for them, pulls out
chairs, lends them a crying shoulder, listens to their problems and
cuddles them to sleep. There’s some truth to that. Sometimes all that a
woman wants is just calm and serenity so the gentleman becomes very
ideal. Such a guy might find cooking torture but he will help her slice
the tomatoes while she cooks. He remembers the things that she loves and
he gets them for her the next time he visits.
The bad boy
A
bad boy has three things most men lack: mystery, spontaneity and
confidence. He always announces his presence with attitude, flirts with
every lady around and rides off into the sunset with the most desired of
damsels. In his mind, he believes he is God’s gift to women. A bad boy
has perfected the art of seduction and break up. A bad boy, because of
his experience, always knows what women want, gives it to them and later
leaves them in the cold.
That’s
why you might find your woman claiming to leave you for some cool guy
then weeks or days later, she runs back with apologies. When this
happens just know that she’s been hit by a bad boy.
This
type of guy often gets bored and is scared of hanging around long
enough to be the nice guy. He’s a wuss when the ‘L’ word is mentioned
and runs from it like it’s Ebola.
The Lover Boy
This
is romantic guy. Someone like the soap opera Alehandro, the story book
prince or even me. Hah. This is someone who takes a woman on a fairy
tale magical ride. He’s the man who does things that normal men are lazy
to do. Once in a while, this kind of guy will get backlash but he
always ends up with the best of women. Women who are tired of
heartbreaks and jokes end up with this guy. He’s the guy who laughs
last.
The
lover boy can be labeled cheesy but very sweet. He has all the
ammunition on how to court a woman and can be downright unabashed about
it. He also has a catalogue of the right phrases to make her melt and
the precise mood as well. Like the bad boy, this kind of guy knows what
ignites a woman but sees it from a different angle. His heart guides his
actions and he seeks to connect to a woman on a deeper level than the
usual. He is the type to take a woman out on a walk or dance with her to
slow music. He is imaginative, creative and sensitive. A lover boy is
often very good in the sack and knows how to make a woman go Maheeda. He
is not afraid to look into her eyes and tell her how he feels even if
it’s in public.
History
has it that lover boys have won the hearts of countless females with
cheesy behavior and words we would generally call clichés. If you don’t
believe ask Casanova.
The Man-Child
This guy is clinging to his glory days when life was less complicated
and responsibility was minimal. He’s obsessed with Guitar Hero,
frequently attends keg parties and considers pizza one of the major food
groups.
As a gateway back to youth, the Man-Child is fun for a date or two,
but the problem is that he’s not going anywhere. This adolescent-adult
has problems holding onto jobs and is more interested in living the life
of a fraternity brother than making a serious commitment. Women are
inclined to ditch The Man-Child until he grows up a little bit and
learns to live life in the real world.
The Roving-Eye Guy
This guy is constantly looking at every female but the one he’s with.
He ogles the barrista, the woman at the bus stop, even his buddy’s
wife, making his date feel inferior and unattractive. Most of us will
agree that men are inclined to admire beautiful women (and vice versa)
but let’s face it: Recognizing beauty and disrespectfully rubbernecking
are two completely different things.
Constantly competing for your partner’s attention gets old really
fast. If a man’s smarmy smile, inappropriate comments/gestures and keen
interest in others are too distracting to the relationship, women pick
up and move along. Even the most confident women want their men to treat
them like they are the only one in the room.
The Cheapskate
You don’t have to be labeled a “gold digger” to recognize the
difference between a man who’s frugal and one who’s downright miserly.
You know the type: he brings coupons to the first date or parks 17 blocks away to avoid paying a $4 valet (or both). Ah yes, this “avoidable” is known as the cheapskate.
Now, there is nothing wrong with a guy shopping for the best deal and
being conservative with his money. However, if every activity is all
about finding the stingiest alternative, nothing is ever fun.
Repeatedly counting change, stealing food from work and rationing
toilet paper may seem quirky or sweet at first, but this behavior is
indicative of future headaches. When it comes down to it, this guy has
control issues.
4) Mr. Gadget
The gadget guy is always toting the latest toys for big boys. He has
the hottest phone, a high-speed boat, a decked-out luxury car, and the
newest Harley (for those weekend drives). In other words, this guy has a
lot of material things keeping him busy. As a grown-up kid who can’t
resist the new plaything of the moment, he has a hard time keeping his
attention on women. After all, who can compete with technology when it
changes at lightning speed?
Whether he is out to impress others, or he constantly needs to trade
up to feed his own ego, this guy cares more about stuff than people.
(Bad sign.) With this kind of outlook, women who date Mr. Gadget are
often left wondering if an upgraded model will make them obsolete.
The Mama’s Boy
The Mama’s Boy probably still lives with his parents in their house,
allowing Mom to launder his clothes, make his bed and cook his meals.
(In many cultures, it’s not unusual to live with one’s parents forever,
so living at home isn’t necessarily a deal breaker.) However, when a man
delights in being waited on hand-and-foot by his mom, there’s trouble.
Mama’s Boys expect their girlfriends to cater to them endlessly and
they never understand why that would be a problem. Most women realize
that instead of trying to raise the man over again, it’s better to leave
the parenting to his indulgent mother.
Finding Mr. Right
In all fairness, these guys aren’t all bad and maybe they just need a
patient partner to come in and show them the light. Just because he
relishes saving money, loves his mama and delights in playing Grand
Theft Auto IV until dawn, all that doesn’t make him unworthy of a
relationship. However, women avoid these challenging fellows because
they still have some growing to do.
Remember, not everyone will come into your life ready-made, but
there’s a difference between dusting off a diamond and fighting a battle
you’re never going to win.
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